The Wrath of Klink
by Bits And Pieces
Summary: To boldly go where no WWII Colonel has gone before...


Disclaimer: I do not own either the Hogan's Heroes characters or the Star Trek, TOS characters. I just like to put them together in the same universe, for some reason.

A/N: I know I have been largely absent from this site for quite a while, but I have missed writing very much, and am hoping to start up again. This story is directly related to my other Hogan's Heroes/Star Trek, TOS crossover, "All the Time in the World," but if you haven't read that one, hopefully you can still enjoy this one. Also, it might help if you've seen the movie, "Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan."

* * *

**The Wrath of Klink**

_Star date 1944.6: With the recent unpleasantness concerning Captain Koloth now behind us, we are once again headed to the nearest star base for some much needed – and deserved – rest and relaxation._

The man seated in the command chair of the USS Enterprise finished recording the daily log and pushed the 'end record' button on the console located underneath his right hand. He turned his attention to his second in command, who was seated at the science station to the right of him, and asked, "Kinch, how soon will we reach Star Base Six?"

"Eight hours, Colonel," Kinch answered, turning to look at his commanding officer.

"All right," Colonel Robert Hogan replied; then addressed his helmsman, "Steady as she goes, Carter."

"Yes, sir," Carter said. He paused; then swiveled his chair to look behind him at Hogan. "Um, Colonel, I have a question. Since we're on a ship and all, I was wondering, how come you're a Colonel?"

"What do you mean?" Hogan asked.

"Well sir, shouldn't we be calling you _Captain_ Hogan?"

Hogan scowled at him. "Bite your tongue!" he hissed.

"Sorry, sir," Carter answered meekly; then turned back and gazed out at the star field on the screen. After a moment, he glanced down at his console and, concerned, remarked, "Colonel, I just realized, if we keep our present course, we're gonna pass through the neutral zone in a few minutes."

Hogan nodded. "Yes we will, but it's the quickest way to Star Base Six. Besides, we'll only be in it for a minute or two; what could go wrong?"

As if on cue, Kinch, who was now looking into the monitor at his station, piped up, "Colonel, I think we have company."

"We do?" Hogan said, "That's strange, no one is supposed to be in this sector but us. Who is it, Kinch?"

"I'm not sure, sir, they're still too far away, but they're coming up fast… Wait, I'm getting a reading…" Kinch's head popped up in surprise and he looked at Hogan, fear etched on his face. "They're German warships, Colonel!"

Alarmed, Hogan asked, "How many?"

"Two – and they're headed directly for us!"

"Put it on screen, Kinch," Hogan told him. The star screen shifted to reveal the image of two spaceships rapidly approaching. They were shaped somewhat like birds, with outstretched 'wings' that curved downwards, and long 'necks' that ended at a spherically shaped 'head' which served as the command center of the ship.

"Battle stations!" Hogan yelled, and hit the red alert button. The sirens started blaring 'whoop, whoop,' while the red lights began flashing. As everyone scrambled to get to their stations, the door to the bridge whooshed open, and LeBeau stepped out.

"Colonel, what's going on?" LeBeau asked as he walked over to the command chair.

"We've got some German warships on our tail," Hogan answered, "This could get ugly. Maybe you should go down and prepare sickbay…"

"Colonel Hogan," a female voice interrupted, and he turned to look at his communications operator. "One of the German ship's commanders is hailing us."

"Thanks, Tiger. Put it on screen."

Tiger hit a button on her console, and the image of the ships vanished, to be replaced by a large German Luftwaffe Colonel's face.

"Yep, it just got ugly," Hogan murmured to LeBeau; then said loudly to the screen, "Colonel Klink, so nice to see you! To what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?"

"Hogan!" Klink replied angrily, "You know perfectly well why I'm here! You're about to enter the neutral zone, and you know that it is strictly verboten!"

"Oh, c'mon Colonel, don't you think it's a little ridiculous to restrict a whole section of space?" Hogan argued. "Besides, we're only going to be in it for a moment; in fact, if you hadn't shown up just now, you'd never even have known we were here."

Klink scowled. "That's beside the point! Now I'm warning you, Colonel Hogan, you will turn around and leave this area immediately, or else!"

"Or else, what?"

"Or else your ship will be destroyed!" Klink shouted.

"What?" Hogan exclaimed, "You would destroy my ship for that?"

"Yes I would, Hogan," Klink replied smugly.

"And so would I!" came a familiar voice drifting out of Klink's communication receiver. The German Colonel's face shimmered, and was replaced by a split-screen image occupied by Klink's face on one side, and the commander of the other warship on the other.

Hogan's jaw dropped momentarily, but he quickly recovered and said to the screen, "Major Hochstetter, is that you?"

"Of course it's me, Hogan!" Hochstetter sputtered angrily, "And I've caught you red-handed this time!"

"You mean, _I've_ caught him red-handed," Klink corrected him.

"Yes, yes, you caught him red-handed," Hochstetter groveled.

"Well, that's new," Hogan remarked to LeBeau, who was still standing next to his chair, "I've never seen Hochstetter kowtow to Klink before…"

"Humph," LeBeau snorted; then muttered quietly to himself, "We're flying through space in a giant starship, and _that_'s what's confusing him?"

Klink's scowl deepened. "Hogan, you have one minute to turn your ship around or we start shooting!"

Hogan sighed. "Look, why don't you just let us through, and then we'll be out of your hair…uh, sorry, I mean, out of the area before you know it."

Klink shook his head. "Thirty seconds!"

"Aww, Klink, have a heart…"

"Twenty seconds!"

"All right, all right!" Hogan acquiesced, "I'll turn the ship around." He looked at his navigator and said, "Schultz, plot a course around the neutral zone to Star Base Six."

"At once, Colonel Hogan," Schultz replied.

Confusion washed over Klink's face. "Schultz? What are you doing on Colonel Hogan's ship?"

"I thought you knew, sir," Schultz answered, "I'm one of the good guys."

Klink raised his fist and shook it angrily at Hogan. "That's it! I'm going to destroy your ship! Hochstetter, prepare to fire…"

"Hey, wait a minute!" Hogan shouted, "You can't…"

The screen changed back to show the star field and the position of the German warships. A bright spherical light shot out of one of the ships, followed by one from the other ship; both headed directly for the Enterprise.

"Carter, aim the photon torpedoes!" Hogan ordered

"Photon torpedoes aimed, Colonel," Carter answered.

"Fire!" Hogan yelled, just as the Germans' torpedoes slammed into the ship's hull.

The ship shuddered powerfully; the defense shields taking the brunt of the impact. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to stop all of the destructive energy from coming through. When Carter pushed the button to fire the torpedoes, nothing happened. "Colonel, something's wrong, the photon torpedoes aren't working!"

"Then use phasers!" Hogan shouted.

Carter pushed the button for the phasers, to no avail. "They're out, too, sir!"

Hogan slammed his fist down on the intercom underneath his hand and yelled into it, "Damage report, Newkirk!"

"_Colonel, the weapons control panel's shorted out,"_ came Newkirk's reply through the intercom, _"It'll take me some time to fix it."_

"We don't have time, Newkirk!"

"_Blimey, sir, I'm doin' the best I can!"_

"I know, Newkirk," Hogan replied tersely, "Just hurry - we need those weapons."

"_Yes, sir,"_ Newkirk answered.

Hogan turned off the intercom just in time to see two more photon torpedoes headed towards the ship. "What's our status, Kinch?" he asked his second in command.

Kinch lifted his head from the scanner and looked at Hogan. "The shields are barely holding, Colonel. One more hit like the last one and they'll be gone for sure."

"Carter, get us out of here!" Hogan barked at his helmsman.

Before Carter could reply, the torpedoes struck the ship, causing it to tilt perilously from side to side. Everyone on the bridge was thrown first one way; then the other. As the movement subsided and the crew started to regain their footing, sparks suddenly flew from science station's console, causing Kinch to scramble away from his post. He lost his balance and fell backwards, sitting down hard on the deck of the ship.

LeBeau hurried over and knelt down by Kinch. "Are you all right?" he asked worriedly.

"Yeah, Louis, I'm okay," Kinch said, trying to wave him off. As he stood up; however, a piercing pain shot through his back and he let out a loud groan.

"No, you're not! Here," LeBeau reached into his pocket and pulled out a pill, "Take this. It will help with the pain."

"No thanks, Louis, I'm fine."

"Kinch, you are not fine! Now, take this pill!"

"No, I need to keep my head clear," Kinch replied.

LeBeau frowned at him. "How can you have a clear head if you are in pain? I swear you are so stubborn and pig-headed…"

"LeBeau!" Hogan shouted, "Now's not the time! Get down to sickbay; I'm sure they need you there."

"I tried to earlier, Colonel, but the door won't open – it's jammed!"

Hogan sighed. "Of course it is," he mumbled.

"Colonel Hogan," Schultz interrupted, "They are shooting at us again. What should we do?"

Hogan looked at the screen and saw two more photon torpedoes headed their way. He punched the intercom on his chair and asked, "What's our status?"

"_The shields are gone, Colonel,"_ Newkirk answered, _"And the main engines are out, too. Sir, the ship can't take much more of this..."_

"Colonel, the torpedoes!" Carter shouted just as they reached the ship.

"Hang on, fellas!" Hogan called out as he grabbed tightly onto the arms of his chair.

Once again the torpedoes slammed into the ship, rocking it violently and sending everyone sprawling. Small explosions went off along the consoles around the perimeter of the bridge, and the panel in front of Carter sparked and then caught fire. Debris began raining down from the ceiling; wires and beams falling on the hapless crew. Smoke poured through the burning equipment; soon it became difficult to see through the haze. The main lights flickered and went out, followed almost immediately by the emergency lights kicking in.

The ship at last stopped pitching, and Hogan, who had been thrown from his chair, pulled himself up and ran over to grab a fire extinguisher. He got to work on the fire at Carter's console, and, within seconds, had reduced it to a mass of smoldering wires.

Hogan set the extinguisher down and peered out onto the bridge, squinting from the smoke. He could hear a lot of coughing and moaning, and as the smoke cleared, his eyes widened and he gasped at the scene – the crew was scattered across the deck, there was debris everywhere, and sparks were coming out of several consoles, threatening to burst into flames any second.

Hogan picked his way over to the communications console. He saw Tiger lying nearby on the deck, unconscious. He kneeled down to check her vitals, and found her pulse weak but steady. Rising to his feet, he stepped around her and looked at her console. It didn't appear to be too damaged, so he reached over and hit the button to hail Klink's ship. After a brief pause, the star screen changed to once again reveal the German Colonel's face.

"Colonel Hogan," the smug, smiling Klink face said, "I'm surprised you're still alive. No matter, I will remedy that shortly."

"Klink, please," Hogan implored, "You've got to stop! My ship is smashed, my engines are damaged, and I don't even know how many of my crew you've injured or killed!"

"Sorry, Colonel Hogan, it's too late for that."

"But, why, Klink? Why do you want to destroy my ship?"

"Because I hate you, Hogan!" Klink shouted angrily, "You and your men made a fool of me and almost ruined my life!" He drew in a breath and exhaled forcefully, then continued, "After my last encounter with you I vowed revenge – which, as you know, is a dish best served cold."

Hogan looked confused. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Klink shrugged. "I don't know. I read it somewhere and I thought it fit the moment." He cleared his throat and continued, "In any case, I am just about to fire the final round of photon torpedoes to finish you off." He raised his fist and shook it in the air. "I shall have my revenge!"

"Klink, wait! Don't do it!" Hogan shouted.

"Goodbye, Colonel Hogan," Klink said, and the screen went dark.

Hogan stood there, filling with rage. As the torpedoes were no doubt now hurtling through space on a direct collision course with the ship, he started to shake with fury. Just before they hit, he did the only thing left to him. He opened his mouth wide and yelled as loudly as possible, "Kliiiiiiiiiiiink!"

The torpedoes tore into the ship, and the Enterprise briefly turned into a gigantic ball of fire. Before the oxygen depleted, the noise became deafening, like a million bombs going, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

* * *

Bang, bang, bang!

Captain James T. Kirk awoke with a start and bolted upright in bed. He could still hear the banging noise that had awakened him, and realized someone was pounding on the door to his quarters. "Come," he called out, noticing his voice sounded a little hoarse.

The door whooshed open and Dr. McCoy entered. He hurried over to the bed where Kirk was sitting and asked worriedly, "Jim, are you all right?"

Kirk nodded. "Yes, Bones, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"I was on my way to sickbay," McCoy explained, "And when I was passing by your quarters I heard you yelling."

"You did?" Kirk looked confused for a moment; then an image flashed through his mind and he recalled the dream he'd been having just before he woke up. "Oh," he said, clearing his throat, which now felt dry.

"Oh, what?" McCoy prompted.

Kirk felt a twinge on the back of his neck, and reached up to massage it. "I was having a nightmare," he told McCoy while working on the sore muscle, "And I must have yelled out in my sleep." He dropped his hand and looked up at the doctor.

"Must have been some nightmare," McCoy replied. Noticing an irregularly shaped blue bottle on the table next to the bed, he picked it up and examined it briefly. Then he set the nearly empty bottle back on the table and remarked, "You might want to cut back on the Romulan ale."

Kirk scowled at him.

Ignoring the Captain's glare, he asked, "So what was your nightmare about?"

Kirk thought for a moment. "I dreamed about those guys from that prison camp, the ones we had to go back in time to help…"

"You mean Colonel Hogan and his men?" McCoy offered.

Kirk nodded. "I dreamed they were flying the Enterprise, and their Kommandant, Colonel Klink, attacked them and blew up the ship."

McCoy let out a low whistle. "Well now, I can certainly see how that would make you yell in your sleep!"

Kirk shook his head. "No, I don't think that's what made me yell, it was something much worse."

McCoy looked perplexed. "What could be worse than that?"

Kirk's expression filled with indignance. "Colonel Hogan was sitting in MY chair!"


End file.
